WHY IS THIS BUNNY WEARING A BACKPACK? WHERE IS HE GOING TO GO? WHAT DOES HE HAVE IN THIS BACKPACK?
it’s his 1st day of school wish him luck
Story time. I was have a really shitty day when my fiancé chatted me this picture. I asked him what was in the bunhun’s backpack. His reply: mini carrots, half a cookie, a small pickaxe so he can dig to albuquerque, harry potter and the goblet of fire, and a valentine’s day heart candy.
Then I asked where he got the backpack. And that perfect person that I’m going to marry said, “the bunny probably got the back pack from tiny north face”
Do you think Derek Hale does his own taxes? Or does he have an accountant? It must be complicated, since he’s very rich from life insurance and fire insurance and everything. That would be tricky to manage on his own with TurboTax. Does he save documents all year long so he can do his taxes? Does he let Mr. Adams at the accounting firm take care of it? Does Mr. Adams want him to look at statements before signing on the return? Does Mr. Adams ask if he can fax things over and Derek says “I don’t have a fax machine” and so Mr. Adams sighs and says he’ll talk to his assistant and work something out?
Does Derek also have a financial advisor who manages his portfolio? Does he get emails asking him if he wants to diversify? Has he invested in startups? Did Derek invest in Twitter on a whim and accidentally increase his wealth by an insane amount? Did he once sheepishly call Mr. Adams and ask about setting up a charitable trust because Derek accidentally tripled his savings?
I JUST TOLD CRIMSONCLAD THAT THE ONLY THING I CARE MORE ABOUT THAN NIPPLES IS DEREK HALE DOING MENIAL AS HELL TASKS.
DOES MR ADAMS MAKE DEREK HALE GET A PO BOX BECAUSE MAIL PEOPLE ARE SMARTER THAN ADOLESCENT BOYS AND REFUSE TO GO ANYWHERE NEAR THE LOFT’S MAILBOX? (IT’S A CARDBOARD BOX ON WHICH DEREK HALE SCRAWLED “MAIL PLZ” IN CRAYON.) DEREK KIND OF LIKES PICKING UP HIS MAIL FROM HIS POST OFFICE BOX CUZ HE LIKES GETTING MAIL EVEN THOUGH ITS MOSTLY FOR CREDIT CARDS AND CATALOGS. HE FLIPS THROUGH THE LANDS END CATALOG ANYWAY. WHO KNOWS? MAYBE HE WANTS SOMETHING. YOU DON’T KNOW HIS LIFE.
omg omg Derek getting mail! DEREK GETTING MAIL.
-letters from his middle school pen pal, Larry. Larry lives in Iowa. Derek still writes to him faithfully.
-fundraising appeals from the basketball camp he went to for two summers. “Our campers love learning about the DRIVE TO WIN and GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP!”
-subscription to Highlights. He hasn’t paid for it in decades, he keeps trying to tell them to stop sending it, but it just keeps coming. “Get it TOGETHER, Goofus,” he sighs.
-His old babysitter Mrs. Elmore sends him a check for five dollars on his birthday every year.
OK, but I want to know exactly what it is Derek tells his middle school pen pal Larry about his life. Like I’m guessing he doesn’t lie, just leaves out…almost everything?
"I was dating this really nice teacher for a little while but it didn’t work out."
"It’s hard making friends."
"Fitness is really important to me."
"Sometimes I wonder if I’ve made the right choices. Do you ever feel that way, Larry?"
All those sound EXTREMELY LIKELY. Also, sometimes he’ll just buy an issue of Sports Illustrated and mention topics from it in his letters. Or he’ll look up movie listings on his phone—not to SEE any of them, but he’ll ask Larry if HE has seen them, and when Larry writes back he will often explain the plots of those movies to Derek. That’s why Derek was once able to get a joke that Scott made about Ryan Reynolds. Scott looked proud of him, and Derek felt proud of himself. Larry is a true friend.
But what happens when Larry happens to be in California for a business trip? He’s just going to swing over to meet Derek, it’s only an hour’s drive, and they’ve been writing to each other for such a long time. It’ll be cool to finally put a face to the name, right?
And of course when Larry meets everyone it’s a hideously embarrassing exercise, because he keeps saying, “Wow, you’re just like I imagined!” or alluding to things that Derek said about them, things that Derek didn’t think were ever going to go beyond Larry.
Oh man, it’s like fake-married trope, but instead it is “fake functional human adult life” trope!
"Yeah, I totally have a refrigerator in my loft, Larry! And I definitely did NOT order it on my phone five minutes ago, NOR did I send Isaac a text asking if he would go meet the delivery truck!" And I have definitely had running water in all of my residences for the past few months. I have definitely never ever been reduced to brushing my teeth with the water that has gathered in an empty bucket out on my loft balcony. Oh, and all my closest friends absolutely come over here for reasons other than horrible murders. Like, we hang out and play games all the time, and no one bleeds at all."
Since it doesn’t look like anyone’s getting arrested today what do you say we put sex back on the table?
Sterek AU: Stiles is excited to finally get to do some real undercover work. All he has to do is seduce a man into agreeing to pay to have sex with him. Shouldn’t be too hard… right?
Derek is part of an ongoing investigation into a human trafficking ring. Tonight he has the fun job of rounding up sex workers to see if any of them have any information on their bosses.
This is what happens when people don’t read their inter-agency memos. Chaos.
Based on this post
and in the moonlit hours
we’ll be as fate intends
Title: From Up On Camelot Hill
Notes: partially inspired by “From Up On Poppy Hill”
Also on AO3
When Merlin had first come to the small village of Camelot, the fluttering banner had immediately caught his attention.
…and then they will totally bond over and make a ‘how hard to be a hero’ club.
I promise I will draw them better
so in LOTR’s appendices it says that legolas eventually builds a boat and takes gimli across the seas and into the west, the gray havens. you know, the place arwen isn’t allowed to go because she’s in love with a human dude bUT LEGOLAS (AKA ‘YOU LITTLE SHIT’) JUST SAYS “FUCK IT” AND SNEAKS GIMLI INTO THE GODDAMN UNDYING LANDS LIKE CONTRABAND TWIZZLERS INTO A MOVIE THEATER
best literary analysis ever
AU - Arthur marries Merlin and crowns him king of Camelot.
Catch up on Supernatural, they said. It’s just a Ghostfacers filler episode, they said. LIES.
Sherlock AU: Star Trek / Parentlock
THE SOUND I JUST MADE WAS INHUMAN THIS IS SIDHOAIHOEAINAILLKK AWESOME
Title: Live Through This
Fandom: Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus
Paring: Percy Jackson/Jason Grace
Notes: Mafia!AU based somewhat on a prompt from my dear Laila: Percy as a hit man who was assigned to kill Jason.
Also on AO3
Things are good; great even. Until Percy gets his first official assignment.